Prayer and The One Unanswered

When I was a child I would pray. I would kneel at the foot of my bed and put my hands together pointing up. I would close my eyes, concentrate, and often press my face against my hands (nose to thumbs). My prayer always ended with
“… keep my soul free from sin. Keep those that I love free from sin. And take my soul to heaven when I die.”

When I was a teenager I prayed to be brave. I prayed for confidence. I prayed to ignore my haters and for them to not harm me. I prayed the bullies would leave me alone. I prayed for skills to defend myself. I prayed for God to change me; to not be different.  

I was brave even though I didn’t think so at the time. Confidence came and so did defensiveness. But I was to be different. That was my calling and it still is. I was not chosen to be a light on the strand that decorates, but rather a single candle flickering in the window directing attention. 

Attention is power.

My beliefs have changed over the decades. I choose personal affirmations over prayer. I even wrote a customized mantra:
I believe in me and all that I do
I believe in goodness and that of everyone
(I believe that I will be well received)
I believe in the universe and that it is ours for the making

There is power in prayer.

Terms have changed, understandings have evolved, and explanations have become vaguer. But it really is all the same. I have never stopped talking to “God”. 

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